today as i was driving into kingston i listened to part of "haven now" - or "haven today" or whatever it's called - on the christian radio station. i usually don't listen to it cause the guys voice is kindof annoying and i'm not a big fan of listening to sermons on the radio, or of christian radio for that matter. but anyway, today the topic caught my attention. he was giving his christmas message and was talking about how our biggest problem is actually God. what he was saying is that because of God's holy standard for our lives that he described through the law in the OT, we're all screwed. none of us will ever, ever measure up to God's standard. so our biggest problem isn't the disaster we're facing, or the broken relationship we have with our friend, or even our sin. our biggest problem is that because of God's standard we're screwed, lost, hopeless. but God sent Jesus... we will never fully understand grace until we understand how lost we are - how unable we are to ever please God on our own.
that thought really stuck out at me. it's not completely new or anything, but it ties in perfectly with what i am preaching about on sunday and what i am struggling with in my own life. i have difficulty understanding grace some days because i don't fully realize how completely unable i am to do anything to please God on my own.
i am beginning to think that maybe it is in giving up trying to make God happy that i will find real grace. maybe only when i quit trying to do the things that i think God wants me to do will i understand that he still loves me - not because of what i do, but because that's just what he's like. he loves me no matter what.
12.22.2004
grace
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4 comments:
Brando, this is very similar to what I'm experiencing right now, though I think I'm coming at it from a different direction, and I've no doubt you're handling it better than I. The last paragraph is encouraging to me, and reminiscent of a post AP had up last week about dealing with ineptitude and inferiority.
Grace is wildly mysterious, because, like love (likely because it springs from it), it's one of those boundless things, and humans don't do so well at conceptualizing the infinite. Just when I think I have decent handle on it, I plumb new depths and discover they aren't depths at all, but rather the surface of something it seems I'll never fully explore.
That's just random thoughts, but I basically want to say I'm right there with you about less "trying" and more "accepting". It was only when I stopped "trying" so hard to get closer to God and grow that I actually started learning practical, real things about myself, others, and the world. It's an ongoing process, and at times I still want to fight it and try harder, but I have a tough time arguing the freedom and peace I have from NOT trying so hard.
Hi, brandon-- happened upon your blog via whitey. i'm not trying to be wierd or anything, but really wanted to say a late "congrats" on your marriage! all the best to you and karen. nice pics. happy holidays :)
jo, hey - good to hear from you. hope all is well.
northern, thanks for the link. glad you stopped by.
geoff, yeah, the infinitude of grace is incredibly baffling. take for instance the example of a person who exuses their sin by saying, "i can just ask for forgiveness later." in our finite understanding that is incredibly rude to God and just plain wrong. the sick thing is that it is true! grace is so boundless that it allows us to take advantage of it! it's a craziness that i will never understand. not that we should take advantage of it - that a person would shows how twisted we can be - but the craziness is that if we sincerly ask for forgiveness, God will forgive no matter how twisted or rude or whatever we have been. grace is free. that's it, that's all. whenever we try to put a price tag on it, it is no longer grace.
craziness.
Brandon,
I am enjoying your website. It helps me know how to pray for you better. It also inspires me to update ours. Your wedding picts are beautiful! Can you put more on?
It was good to talk to you last week.
Love you
Ang
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