1.23.2007

confessions on a dance floor

i had a dream last night about a guy who i really hurt by some actions i took about a year ago. i mean hurt emotionally. i tried to work it out with him right away...ask forgiveness and so forth, but he didn't want to talk to me then. i saw him recently at an event we both attended, and i was really struck by how he seemed to avoid even saying hello when he would normally (before "the incident") make a point of saying hi. i must admit i didn't go talk to him either.

this has been bothering me every time i think about it. i've managed to forget for a while, but something will happen that reminds me of the unresolved issue there. like this dream. i don't remember what happened in the dream, i just remember it was about him. i know i gotta do something to work it out, but i'm afraid to talk to him. it eats me up inside that i hurt him so much by what i did, and there's nothing i can do to make it go away. i'm left completely powerless, at the mercy of his forgiveness.

i know i need to contact him again, try to apologize again. then at least i've tried. either a friendship gets restored or i rest assured that i've done all i can.

ugghh... i hate thinking about it. makes me feel sick.

night.

4 comments:

Aaron Perry said...

don't grow discouraged; the fact that you can't 'just get over it' is proof that God is working. if he's working in you, he's probably working in your friend.

Angela said...

I've been there and it sucks. It's a very very yucky feeling. I am praying for you. By the way...did you have that famous star sign a release to use his pict? :-) He looks slightly familiar.

Angela said...

um...so I just wanted to let you know I prayed for the 3 of you today. The picts Karen sent of Gabe are CUTE! Much Love.

Anonymous said...

you cannot own someone else's unforgiveness. You do what God calls you to do - if it apologize then go ahead and do so (and you already have apparently) but the ball is in your friend's court. Pray for him and hold him in high esteem and then let it go. Many times the issue is not about us....and is rooted in something else in the other person's life.